If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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