i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
