I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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