Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
