even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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