All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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