As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize