it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
