Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
