It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
