Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
