He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
