Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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