Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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