Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
