Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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