Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
