cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
