Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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