I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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