She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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