end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
