I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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