I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
