Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
