after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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