I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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