this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
