im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
