i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
