im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
