I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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