Even the bartender felt bad for me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
