i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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