went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
