I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
