I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize