Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
