Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
