Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
