I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
