so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
