Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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