I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
