from now on my penis is your penis
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
