do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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