I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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