i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
