I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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