I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
