as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
