hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
