How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize