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i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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