I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
