porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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