the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i out mim tonsoeep
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