there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
