He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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