so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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