hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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