if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize