Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
